Category Archives: Do More of What You Love

The opportunity in WAITING

Single life in the city is really hard.

The truth is I don’t wanna carry my bike up a tiny, winding staircase after a long day of work anymore. I want help with things. I want someone to eat breakfast with. And oh yea, I want to be held.

But what’s also true is that these days won’t last forever. This season will change, as they all do. And I will miss it. Tonight in my kitchen (my favorite place to be) I was blasting my favorite tunes and had this thought: someday I’ll look back onmy single days in the city and think, “Damn, remember when I had all that time to myself? How GOOD were those days?” 

I know there’s probably something you want to be different in your life.

Your body. Your job. Your love life (or lack of one). I wonder if just for a sec, instead of thinking about what’s lacking, you might see the opportunity where you’re at. Some days it’s easier for me than others, believe me, but the more I sink into this phase in my life, the more I realize it’s a chance to know myself more deeply and to do some serious healing. As pastor, Todd Crews, reminded me this past weekend, waiting for what it is I’m wanting is an opportunity to position myself spiritually to receive what is on its way. The more I lean into that teaching, the more I realize I’m just where I’m meant to be.

So tonight after hours of dancing with a chocolate covered spoon, I’m wishing you peace, growth (and maybe even some joy) in the waiting.

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

what do i wanna do with this day?

At 23 I quit my first (and pretty much only) full time job as an adult.
I started teaching yoga but had hours and hours of open time. And to be honest, I had no clue what to do with it. I got lazy. And bored. And sometimes depressed. Why? Cuz I’d never had to access the part of me that knows what I want to do (as is typical in high school, college, and most workplaces, other people made those decisions for me). That part of me needed time to wake up.

Almost 10 years later, that part of me is very much alive and craves days like today, with nothing on the calendar. On days like this I know I wanna take morning walks by the water and come home to heat tortillas over an open flame til the edges get that perfect amount of crispy. I know when all the neighbors are at work I wanna blast salsa music, dance, and swiffer my sexy wood floors. I know I want bike rides, my daily run to the market, and happenstance meetings on the greenway with North End friends and shop owners. I also know that when I give it time (versus squashing it with social media scrolling or other mindless distractions), boredom, laziness and even depression will transform into new ideas and new levels of depth and wisdom.

Monday morning I’ll head into a 9-5 where someone else is gonna tell me how to spend my days again. And surprisingly I feel ready, excited even. After claiming this last decade so fully as my own, I trust I’ll know how to make it work. I trust that all the qualities I’ve cultivated on long, lazy days (creativity, flexibility, self love and self motivation) will be valuable to my new workplace. You better believe I’ll be takin’ that lunch break (and multiple stretch breaks) and if it’s not happening, I trust I’ll advocate for myself. Because what I know for sure, is that good work happens when I feel good.

So when was the last time you had a day with no plans? 
Completely unstructured time?
If it’s been a while maybe give it a try. Leave your phone at home, walk out the door and ask yourself “What do I wanna do with this day?”


Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

Got a purpose?

I was taught to tell you it would be simple.

I was taught that you’d hire me if I offered “easy button” solutions to your problems.

But the truth is none of it’s EASY.

Not the meal prep.
Not meditation.
Not the elusive and ever trendy morning routine.

It’s not EASY to say “no” to
and tequila.

Or to admit to wanting more than
Empty sex
A superficial social life
And a soul-sucking 9-5.

None of these choices are easy. They haven’t been for me and they won’t be for you. In fact, choices like these lead to anything from socially awkward moments (“when did you stop being ‘fun’?”) to complete disorientation (“who am I if I’m not ______” i.e. the life of the party, the corporate superstar, the girl every guy wants).

I wanna invite you to work with me this year, but NOT because I can make your life easier. Honestly, these decisions that feed you on a soul level are gonna be in DIRECT conflict with mainstream culture, and thus, in DIRECT opposition to the beliefs and habits of most people in your life. And so it’ll be hard. Tiring. Discouraging. Isolating.

So why do it, this work of becoming conscious? Because if not, you lose yourself. You miss out on your purpose. You have no path of your own. Spiritual teacher, Joseph Campbell, discourages us from waiting til the end of our life to “get to the top of the ladder and realize it’s against the wrong wall.” THAT’s a kind of suffering I have no interest in, for me or for you.

If I want one thing for you in 2018, it’s for you to STOP contorting yourself to fit. Cuz really, at the root of all the junk; the junk food, the junk thoughts, the junk relationships, and the junk job, is just that: a willingness to deny, sacrifice aspects of ourselves for the sake of fitting in.

So again, I wanna be super clear about this: working with me won’t make your life easier. But it WILL help you find the life that is YOURS. Changing your diet, moving your body, and developing a contemplative practice, is just the beginning. Each of these steps towards becoming well will illuminate YOUR path.

If you’re craving this kind of clarity and wanna know more, respond to this email saying, “I wanna know more!” Heads up, I ask my clients to commit to this work for at least 3 months. This work of becoming well, physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually takes time and stamina.

Psyched to hear from you if you’re feelin’ like this is your year!

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

What “wandering” might teach you

I don’t know how many hours I spent searching for grad programs, scanning websites and thinking, “Oh maybe I could study English… No? Nah. Or maybe anthropology? Wait, do I wanna be an anthropologist or do I just want to travel? Oh look at this, a women’s studies program in South Africa… that would be cool, right?” Yea cool for sure, but I was TOTALLY forcing it. So much so that I applied to two completely different programs, got accepted, deferred, and then just never showed up to my first class. I SO wanted to be in grad school! Or did I just want to feel like I had “figured it out?”

Either way something inside me kept resisting.
You ever experience something like this?

Fast forward five years, after teaching yoga, waitressing, selling chocolate, starting my own coaching practice, and living on the beach in Mexico, I pulled up Lesley University’s website and found their Holistic Mental Health Counseling program. EVERY part of me said “YES.”

I applied right away, got accepted and it’s been one of the best decisions of my life. Now when I talk with 20- somethings who are anxious about their “next step” all I wanna do is scream, “Wait!” And explain that years of “wandering” taught me a skill I could never have learned in school: to recognize the voice of my heart, and to go only where my heart says “yes.”

This is the last “back to school” season that’ll mean this much to me (my 3rd and final year of school). Doing the work of therapy is more emotionally and intellectually challenging than anything I’ve ever done yet I love it so much I could cry. Yesterday I had a 14 hr. work day (internship, class, private coaching, etc.) and at 10 pm, when I finished, I was smiling.

The reason I share this is, yes, to express my enthusiasm but more so because this is proof to me that my life work, your life work, CAN feel like a perfect fit. It doesn’t mean it’s easy but it means it feels right. When something is a right fit (whether our job, partner, home, etc.) it GIVES us energy, it literally feeds us.

Take a quick assessment of the different areas of your life. Which parts feel right (in other words, they energize you) and which parts don’t?

Three weeks into the semester, of course, I’m already missing long, spacious summer days. Since falling in love with my work, though, it’s been a hell of a lot easier to let those days go with ease, and to embrace the sweet seasons ahead…

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

Without a man I feel naked


I wrote that sentence not too long ago: without a man I feel naked.

And I immediately wanted to erase it. Or at least rearrange it, or reinterpret the words, somehow reorganize this truth to make it less … pathetic. But instead I just cried, and sank into the disappointment (in myself), the shame, and the insecurity that surfaced as a result of facing it. And then I waited for more. NAKED. What did I really mean by that? I asked myself. More words came. Stripped. Bare. Exposed to the world.

This is a vulnerable share, and I share it, as always, with the hope it will ignite something in you. How would you finish the following statement: “Without _______ , I would feel naked and exposed.” Is it relationships for you too? (Love? Hookups? Or just superficial but constant conversation on social media?) Is it your nightly drinks? Or nightly binge? Your job? Your phone? Whatever feels most scary, or even terrifying to admit, write THAT down.

For roughly 15 years of my life, the men I’ve loved gave me shelter from lots of everyday pain (which I’ve written about before) but there’s more. They also gave me a default sense of PURPOSE (to love him, care for him, connect with him) AND a default IDENTITY (“I’m so and so’s girlfriend”).

Now, check this out…

As long as at least a good portion of my purpose and identity was intimately tied up with someone else, I alone, could never TRULY fail, I alone, could never REALLY be FULLY responsible for anything. Because “I, alone” did not exist!

You catching this? It’s a game changer. Love and relationships was my armor. Without me knowing it, my unconscious was doing a damn good job of keeping me removed from the big bad world of expectations. In other words, keeping me (emotionally) safe, from failure, rejection, disapproval, etc. (Something to consider: what might your thickest armor or greatest attachment be doing FOR you?)

Thing is, eventually, not only did seeking this “safety” outside myself backfire (i.e. tons of pain caused by being in the wrong relationships for too long), but it also stopped being enough. I ached to know myself more completely. To know myself without this armor. To believe myself emotionally capable and strong, especially in my most distressing moments.

For almost a year now, I’ve been single. And I don’t mean “texting a few guys, Facebook messaging a few others, meeting up with an ex every once in while” kind of single. I mean I’ve intentionally taken any form of romantic, intimate relationships off the table. Why? To see what was left. To see what lie beneath the armor. To meet myself, bare and exposed. And doing this for real, learning to claim my life as my own, I’ll admit, has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

When people ask me whether or not they should give up coffee, or bread, or dairy, know what I say? I say, “Well, how badly do you feel you need it? The more you need it, the more I’d recommend you give it up.” And not as a punishment but as a catalyst for self growth. When you can completely give up the thing you’re attached to (even if only temporarily), it throws your psyche into a disoriented state (“how do I soothe myself NOW? how do I get through this moment? this day? this life?”). In that desperate state you become forced to “dig deep” as my dear friend and I say, into the well of your inner resources (emotional, psychological, and spiritual), of nourishment and soothing.

For many of us it takes years, decades, or even a lifetime, to become comfortable reaching inward instead of outward when times are tough. I like to think of it as a process of coming home to ourselves, the only process I’ve come to believe can bring us true freedom.

I never ask my clients to go anywhere I haven’t gone myself. So, yes, I want you to know I am still in it. I am today, and always, growing into owning this journey that is only mine to take. It’s true, without a man I may feel naked. I may feel exposed. But it’s also true that I finally feel free. 

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

Are you choosing what’s convenient?

You ever review your life for a sec (i.e. your job, your diet, your boyfriend) and think: Whoa, how did I get here?

Especially when it comes to relationships, I know a lot of women who have had this experience (myself included). The he has a girlfriend but we started texting one night and then months later we’re still just texting with no hope of a relationship kind of experience. Or the I said yes to one date and then woke up two years later with someone I’m not sure I like kind of experience.

We tend to think of decisions as isolated events. I hear it all the time. “It’s no big deal, it’s just this one piece of cake. I mean, it’s not gonna kill me.” 

It’s just this one text
this one date
this one drink
this one shit day in the office…

In the grand scheme of life, even if it’s not what I truly want, even if it’s not what’s best for me, even if it’s not helping me grow, it probably won’t matter.

Or will it? Let’s look a bit closer.

Back to the cake. It’s Anne’s birthday at the office, and you decide to enjoy cake with co-workers. Now, chances are good you’re eating cake primarily because it’s in front of you. Am I wrong?

Jungian psychotherapist and one of my most influential teachers, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, writes in reference to this:

“In this sort of choice we choose a thing because it just happened to be beneath our noses at that moment in time. It is not necessarily what we want but it is interesting and the longer we gaze at it, the more compelling it becomes.”

Yikes. That’s some truth right there.

Can you think of decisions you’ve made in this way? Your breakfast? Your clothes? Your job? Maybe even your partner?

Any of this hitting home?

This kind of choice keeps you in the passenger seat of your own life. It’s a passive way of living. When you make choices like this day after day, your life becomes a reflection of what’s available and convenient (versus a reflection of what you actually want and need). So, it should be no surprise when you wake up one day with a body that doesn’t look like what you wanted it to, a relationship that doesn’t feel how you wanted it to feel, and a life that doesn’t seem like your own.

The good news is, there’s another way of living,
a way to make clear decisions,
from an empowered place,
that will actually get you what you want.
And that’s what we’ll be exploring in my 90 day group coaching program this fall (this is the last week to apply and chat with me about the details).

In this program, you’ll have an opportunity to step back and become deeply tuned into yourself. You’ll learn how to make decisions from your intuitive center, decisions that will benefit you on a SOUL level (in other words, you’ll know when to say “yes” to that piece of cake, that date, or that job offer and when to keep it movin’).

What will that allow for? It’ll allow you to stop grasping at what you think you need (only to find yourself feeling empty over and over again) and to start seeking that which will most fully and most deeply satisfy you.

If this sounds like something you want, I’d be psyched to chat with you. Fill out the application by clicking here.

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

The truth is…

You ever get in bad mood and not know why?

(I know this sounds like a pharmaceutical ad, but bear with me… )

Like maybe you wake up and feel pissed off before you even get outta bed (“Did I have a bad dream or what??“) Or you’re hangin with a group of friends and feel totally numb and disengaged (“Where the hell did this come from?” “Why can’t I just enjoy myself?“)

This used to happen to me a lot, actually, especially in my early-mid 20s. Like on a Saturday, for instance, I’d be getting ready for a “fun” night out with friends. While I could always manage to put a smile on my face, inside I felt some degree of emptiness. Or felt nothing. Or didn’t know what I was feeling. I just knew it wasn’t what I “should” have been feeling in those moments.

It was frustrating and disorienting. If you’ve had experiences like this, you know what I mean.

But it was also an opportunity (as most uncomfortable/painful situation are!) to understand myself more fully. Through years of personal reading and reflection, and work with coaches and therapists, I came to a couple important realizations I wanna share tonight:

1) We rarely feel “off” for no reason. And if we’re feeling “off” and don’t know why, it’s likely because, to some degree, we’ve cut ourselves off from our feelings/our truth (which may or may not be related to the present situation).

2) Why would we do that? Well first of all, it’s not always something we do consciously. And second of all, because there’s about a million seemingly good reasons to cut ourselves off from our true feelings.


If I feel the pain of losing him,
maybe i’ll never stop crying,
or never get out of bed,
or never believe in love again.
so I’m not going to feel that right now.

If I feel hurt by what she said,
people might think I’m too dramatic,
or too emotional.
so I’m not going to feel that right now.

If I feel anger at my mom,
or resentment towards my baby,
maybe I’m defective. Or a bad person.
so I’m not going to feel any of that right now.

If I admit to feeling smothered and exhausted by my 9-5,
then I might have to quit,
and I might lose all sense of stability,
so I’m not going to feel that right now.

If I admit to feeling unfulfilled going to bars with friends,
then I’ll have nothing in common with those friends,
and I might have to spend Saturday night alone.
so I’m not going to feel that right now.

Seeing the theme here?

3) Avoiding or denying our true feelings (aka repression), is the way we (often automatically and unconsciously) manage stuff that seems too overwhelming at the time. Thank God for it, right? Sometimes it’s necessary to get through the day (especially if you’ve had some serious trauma).

4) However, it’s not a habit we want to get comfy with… cuz’ if we do, we quickly begin to lose ourselves. Literally we separate from ourselves, our truth, and start experiencing those kinds of displaced and disorienting feelings I mentioned earlier (why am I feeling this way? what am I even feeling? where is this coming from?)

5) Unacknowledged feelings also lead to a lack of energy and enthusiasm. Know why? Cuz’ feelings are a source of energy. When we’re in touch with them, we feel alive. When we’re out of touch, we feel exhausted and depressed.

Feeling our feelings might sound like a pretty basic concept. But the reality is, it’s not, for many people. We don’t learn emotional literacy in school. Lots of us don’t learn it from our families either. Oh, and our culture certainly doesn’t promote it.

So, for many of us, it’s not til after many years of unease with ourselves and/or lots of stumbling in relationships, that we realize its importance and begin to teach it to ourselves, or to seek out guidance from a coach or therapist.

If this is resonating with you, I’ve got a simple exercise for you (below). And as a heads up, I’ll also soon be opening up applications for my upcoming group program, when we’ll dive into this stuff much more deeply.

The TRUTH IS… [a written exercise]

Shakespeare knew it (“This above all; to thine own self be true“), my grandma knew it (“Lying to yourself will make you sick“) and now you know it.

Use this exercise when you’re feeling “off” but don’t know why.
Use this exercise to find your truth.

This exercise will help you back track through the maze of your emotions to find the starting point. It’ll help you find the root of your discomfort, so you can acknowledge it, face it, and perhaps do something about it. (Note: even if you don’t get to the point of doing anything about it, simply receiving your truth can cause an immediate shift and a significant level of healing).

Completing the exercise is straight forward. In a moment you’re feeling “off” (numb, disengaged, tense, pissed, etc.) take out a sheet of paper and write “the truth is… ” and then free write for as long as you’d like. If you find yourself getting stuck or drawing a blank, it can be helpful to write “the truth is…” again and again, to cut through superficial thoughts and feelings and elicit an honest message from your heart.

Pretty simple, right? I swear by this exercise and would absolutely love to know how it goes for you.

Or save & share:Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

  • Praise

    Nancy A.

    "Jody has been an inspirational force in my life. Not only do I eat better, but I'm able to handle difficult areas of my life with honesty and understanding"
    Jody Grimm Coaching
    "Jody has been an inspirational force in my life. Not only do I eat better, but I'm able to handle difficult areas of my life with honesty and understanding"

    Heather B.

    "Jody has shown me eating healthy is not a chore."
    Jody Grimm Coaching
    "Jody has shown me eating healthy is not a chore."

    Audrey H.

    "Working with Jody not only improved my eating habits, but also created more awareness around the nourishment of my mind, body, and spirit!"
    Jody Grimm Coaching
    "Working with Jody not only improved my eating habits, but also created more awareness around the nourishment of my mind, body, and spirit!"

    Angela S.

    "Jody has a natural glow and positive energy about her. Working with Jody has inspired me to find the things in my life that will make me glow and thrive!"
    Jody Grimm Coaching
    "Jody has a natural glow and positive energy about her. Working with Jody has inspired me to find the things in my life that will make me glow and thrive!"

    Emily S.

    "Working with Jody has helped me take control of my health which has opened doors that used to seem impossible."
    Jody Grimm Coaching
    "Working with Jody has helped me take control of my health which has opened doors that used to seem impossible."
    Jody Grimm Coaching
  • Recent Posts

  • Archives