You ever review your life for a sec (i.e. your job, your diet, your boyfriend) and think: Whoa, how did I get here?
Especially when it comes to relationships, I know a lot of women who have had this experience (myself included). The he has a girlfriend but we started texting one night and then months later we’re still just texting with no hope of a relationship kind of experience. Or the I said yes to one date and then woke up two years later with someone I’m not sure I like kind of experience.
We tend to think of decisions as isolated events. I hear it all the time. “It’s no big deal, it’s just this one piece of cake. I mean, it’s not gonna kill me.”
It’s just this one text
this one date
this one drink
this one shit day in the office…
In the grand scheme of life, even if it’s not what I truly want, even if it’s not what’s best for me, even if it’s not helping me grow, it probably won’t matter.
Or will it? Let’s look a bit closer.
Back to the cake. It’s Anne’s birthday at the office, and you decide to enjoy cake with co-workers. Now, chances are good you’re eating cake primarily because it’s in front of you. Am I wrong?
Jungian psychotherapist and one of my most influential teachers, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, writes in reference to this:
“In this sort of choice we choose a thing because it just happened to be beneath our noses at that moment in time. It is not necessarily what we want but it is interesting and the longer we gaze at it, the more compelling it becomes.”
Yikes. That’s some truth right there.
Can you think of decisions you’ve made in this way? Your breakfast? Your clothes? Your job? Maybe even your partner?
Any of this hitting home?
This kind of choice keeps you in the passenger seat of your own life. It’s a passive way of living. When you make choices like this day after day, your life becomes a reflection of what’s available and convenient (versus a reflection of what you actually want and need). So, it should be no surprise when you wake up one day with a body that doesn’t look like what you wanted it to, a relationship that doesn’t feel how you wanted it to feel, and a life that doesn’t seem like your own.
The good news is, there’s another way of living,
a way to make clear decisions,
from an empowered place,
that will actually get you what you want.
And that’s what we’ll be exploring in my 90 day group coaching program this fall (this is the last week to apply and chat with me about the details).
In this program, you’ll have an opportunity to step back and become deeply tuned into yourself. You’ll learn how to make decisions from your intuitive center, de
What will that allow for? It’ll allow you to stop grasping at what you think you need (only to find yourself feeling empty over and over again) and to start seeking that which will most fully and most deeply satisfy you.
If this sounds like something you want, I’d be psyched to chat with you. Fill out the application by clicking here.