By the end of work today, my back was achy, feeling weirdly weak, and I was just tense all around. When I got home I put on music right away and started dancing. My only requirement was to keep moving one song to the next. As I moved my body started to generate heat all over. Anger rose up. As I danced, images of irritating situations came to mind. I kept going. People who overstepped my boundaries came to mind. Moments when I didn’t assert. Didn’t speak up. It felt like my body was on fire on the inside. I kept dancing, moving my body in a way that felt powerful and strong. I threw punches, bared my teeth. And kept dancing.
Here’s the thing: when I got home from work today I had options. I could have (1) numbed the pain (i.e. superficial socializing, alcohol, drugs, food, etc.), (2) given into the pain (lay in bed for hours watching “The Office” again) or (3) MOVED THROUGH the pain to find the wisdom in it.
This is what I’ve come to realize: My body is the vessel through which I live out my purpose (being the most whole, expressed version of myself). If I’m off track, or I need guidance, my body is going to tell me DIRECTLY. Take today for instance. At my job and in my life right now, my growing edge is around setting limits, speaking my mind, and being assertive. For me to grow more fully into ME, these are parts I need to develop. So when I struggle, shy away from this growth, or for whatever reason haven’t been able to assert myself honestly and authentically, my body gets tense, weak. If I numb that pain or let it paralyze me, I learn nothing, I get frustrated, and the pain just keeps getting worse (oh, and I start forming beliefs like “life is terrible and full of suffering and there’s no way out” kinda thing). If I MOVE THROUGH it, I get the chance to explore it. Rather than get frustrated with the pain I welcome it. The more I welcome it and listen to it, the more the pain subsides. And then I can believe that actually, life is happening FOR me, not against me. That my body isn’t the source of suffering but in fact, my ultimate teacher. And then I get to remain totally in awe of my body and this life!