This post is part of the Skinny Dip Society Blog Tour!
20 women. 20 days. 20 ways to Feed Your Soul. Free Your Body. Love Your Life.
Check out more info after my post!
It’s usually with a man I’ve just met.
Or not. Maybe our eyes just hold contact long enough to communicate consent. With his right hand on my waist he pulls me close. His other hand holds one of my mine securely in the small space between our chests. It’s best when the music starts slow (like in this song), and he guides me with slight, subtle movements, to fall into his rhythm. Our heads gently touch. My eyes close. The music picks up and I’m gone.
We’re all hoping to lose our minds.
It’s why we drink and have empty sex and eat entire jars of peanut butter before bed.
Because we’d like to stop thinking, for once, and just feel ; a touch, a connection, a texture, a taste. It’s a craving not for the food or drink or orgasm, but a craving to get back to what’s real, to what’s human, to be in one single moment versus the land of constant thought and virtual conversation where we typically live.
What do you use to lose your mind?
After dabbling in the typical cocktail of mind numbing activities (mentioned above) and other more enlightened versions of letting go (yoga, meditation, etc.) I rediscovered dance; salsa, then the very sexy bachata… and finally this, kizomba.
While I can still get tripped up on the basic steps, one thing never fails — and that’s the way, as a young single woman, dance saves me; from endlessly searching outside myself for that all encompassing feeling that comes with letting go, that feeling I so desire, the perfect mix of power and presence, of home, of sensuality and satisfaction.
Dance takes me on a visceral trip inside myself, grounds me in my body, allows me to melt into the best version of myself.
And you? Are you ready for the trip?
Even if you’re the ultimate yogini or a master of meditation, I dare you to give dance a shot. If you’re willing to put on some heels and have the courage to spice things up a bit…
You might be pleasantly surprised when you find spirituality in the arms of a stranger.
3 Reasons Why Dance is the Best Way to Lose Your Mind:
1. You get to be a woman.
Feminism is my jam. But let’s be honest, we’ve seriously lost something in our search for equality — the beautiful duality of the masculine and feminine.
In traditional dance, men’s and women’s roles are very defined. The man confidently leads and the woman gracefully follows. For us 20/30 – something women out there, it can be a real stretch to put aside our pride and follow.
Dancing with a strong leader gives us the chance to soften into our femininity. The man offers his body, his strength, and we get to surrender. He holds a frame, the space for us to experience our bodies in an incredible way. The movement may feel new, but don’t be fooled. It’s instinctual.
Take his hand. Let him lead. Soften. Lose yourself.
2. It’s like sex, only better.
You’ll be attracted to some partners, of course. In those instances, soak up every moment of flirtation and pray he’ll ask for a second dance.
With other partners, most actually, there won’t be any spark at all.
And the magic of it is it doesn’t matter. Because it’s just a dance.
You can let him get close, even allow for a very intimate connection, with space for nothing more than breath between you. Be fed by the closeness, the affection.
And when the music ends you can expect a simple “thank you” or at most, a friendly hug.
In an age where late night drinks and text messages define intimacy, and are often followed by guilt, awkward moments, and walks of shame, dance is looking like a damn good option.
3. You’ll find your heart… or heaven… or, ya know, something deep.
There’s a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love that goes,
“You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it’s like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead. That way, you will know God.”
When we move, especially when we move with another, we’ve got no choice but to feel the ground, to come home to our body.
Yes, at first it could feel weird to touch a random guy. You might get grossed out by his sweat or turned off by his moves. You might worry about screwing up or stepping on his feet (I still do).
But then you’ll have that first experience of undeniable connection, a bizarre combo of feeling grounded and feeling high. Your insecurities will fade, as will the mental tape of anxiety that’s been on repeat all day long. And that’s when the trip inward begins.
By coming home to your body you give yourself the freedom to let go of your mind and the chance to awaken your heart.
For once, don’t do anything but feel it.
Tell me in the comments below!
And if not, I want to know what works for you! What makes you lose your mind?
For more inspiration, more beautiful stories on how women have come fully ALIVE, join the rest of Katie Den Ouden’s blog tour… (more info below).
These past few weeks I’ve been honored to be part of Katie Den Ouden’s Skinny Dip Society blog tour, full of stories of courageous women who refuse to settle, who expect to come alive every day.
Sending a huge “thank you!” to Katie for handpicking such an amazing line up of women AND for recognizing the passion in me. I’m so proud to be among you all!
To my readers, don’t miss out (!) on what’s already happened on the tour and what’s still to come…
Yesterday we heard from Connie, on how stillness makes her come alive…
And tomorrow, be on the look out for words from Amy! …
All the archives from the blog tour are here. ENJOY!